I hate to admit this, but I am a quitter. For most of my life, I've started and stopped at so many things, in so many ways. But, that's ok, I would say -- nothing lasts forever, right? I suppose I could explore the reasons why I don't stick to much, but let's just say that I have a tendency to start things and not finish them up. This blog, for instance, is a good example. If I manage to finish this entry, it will be only my second. The first post was added over a month ago. If I don't say any more, it will be one more thing I quit.
Why bring this up? What is so special about today? Why not just quit blogging, like I've quit so many other things, and have done with it? Because today is a milestone. One year ago today, I went to my first Zumba® Fitness class. And, I haven't quit going. That is the milestone -- I started something, I liked it, and I didn't quit.
Oh, there were moments, believe me, where I could hear the whisper. OK, you've done enough. You've proved your point. Isn't it time to stop? But, as weeks turned into months, as a once a week activity turned into something I do 3 times a week, something changed. I started ignoring the voices that said "don't," "stop," and "can't."
This time last year, I was on a mission to lose weight. I was working with a weight loss program, and had lost a modest amount in 6 months. But, the pull to quit was still there. The same whisper, the same words. I actually stopped going for a few weeks at the end of 2011, but a call from the center brought me back. I decided I wasn't going to quit. Since starting the program, I have lost about 55 lbs, and I am down four dress sizes. Finishing what I started feels good.
Despite being more focused on possibilities and ignoring the negative voices, though, I found myself saying "can't" this week. Thankfully, I was called on it. "The minute you say you can't, you can't," I was told. Or, won't. I wondered, on the drive home, if thinking "I can't" once again didn't make me a hypocrite. For several months, I had focused on and talked about believing in oneself and making the impossible possible. Was I quitting yet again?
Here's the thing about focusing on the positive: it starts when you learn to forgive, first yourself and then others. You can make mistakes, take a step back and start fresh. A positive person can have a negative moment, a negative thought, and still remain a positive person. To answer my own question, no, it's not hypocrisy, because thinking "I can't," if just for a moment, only makes me human. It's a pause in my journey, not the final destination, as long as I don't stay there.
My tendency to quit was my way of giving up on myself. I'm not that person anymore. I believe in possibilities, and that if we keep trying, we can accomplish anything. I believe in moving forward, and being better today than I was yesterday. I believe in trying, and when something doesn't work out the first time, trying again.
So, if I'm going to quit anything, it is the idea of giving up. I am quitting quitting. Feels good...
Positively yours,
Fariha
